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Sunday, December 03, 2006

When you're too young to know better, things are so simple. Mom and Dad rule the universe and you have nothing to worry about but what you're going to say when you're the first person to set foot on Mars.

Damn, to be young and ingnorant again. When you get older, and you start figuring things out (but not everything, never everything), you have to do your best to spend your days not being afraid. Not being afraid that you might miss the next big project deadline. Not being afraid that you'll be broke in a month. Not being afraid that you'll be alone forever, or if you aren't alone, then not being afraid that your significant other is wrong for you and vice versa. And then, the hard fears. You really have to do your best to ignore the thought that you'll never be what you dream of being (and you can't... right?), or that someday you will die (that's what they say...).

I can remember a time, and it was not too long ago, that nothing mattered more than football, girls, and what was on TV that night. But something happened. I'm grateful in ways, because I appreciate more. I love my family like I may not have back then, but I can't remember. I'm closer to some people in some ways, but where I'm at now it feels like a struggle to keep it that way. Most days I want to sit in front of the TV and turn off the part of the brain that woke up. If that's not gonna happen, then that's that.

Maybe it's just me though. All I'm really sure about is that this shit is harder than it looks. Next time I see a kid, or at least a kid that's cool, I'll be sure to spoil him.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Recently, Tour de France winner Floyd Landis was found to have tested positive for illegal doping. Besides the obvious initial shock and disgust, I have a few questions and concerns.
First, this test is based on samples taken during the tour itself. After the back-up tests are completed, and if Landis is still found guilty, then his title should be revoked, no questions. Right?
Jan Ullrich and Ivan Basso, the prerace favorites and perennial holders of the best view of Lance Armstrong's ass, were yanked from the Tour on the eve of the race, merely for being associated with a doper. They failed no test.
What angers me, and what I suppose is my roundabout point, is the nonchalant and accepting attitude surrounding the situation. It's ridiculous that someone with that kind of profile and pull is even questionable in their integrity. Where's the uproar? Sure, he's human, but doping sucks the life and worth out of winning the Tour de France! What is winning when it's not the blood and sweat that you gave that decided the winner, but how many vials of EPO's that you clogged your body with? What is that worth?
In today's society, winning has become more important than anything. Morals, character and integrity are given no weight because they are not loudly shouting out advertisements that say "I will dominate anything I want, I live to elevate myself above those around me". Alright, I'm totally on a soap box here and I know it. But I myself cannot comprehend what goes through Landis' head at night. I want to know! I want to know how he justifies the whole mess to himself, what lies he has to repeat endlessly... And I wish it was just cycling.

And for anyone who thinks he's the only one that does that shit, open your eyes. Proof or no, Lance Armstrong is on that list.
Please forgive the nastiness. I'm nursing a wicked hangover courtesy of one too many Long Island Iced Teas.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

For anyone who has ever sat and wondered about anything, the coming onslaught of global issues most have crossed the mind once or twice. It may occur to us that we will soon be facing problems that are different, and more important, than any in history. But human nature almost always takes over and escorts the thought from our head without a scuffle. But deep down, we know that the reality cannot be changed by ignoring it. The problem then, is that that's exactly what we're guilty of. Recently, however, it has become popular to discuss these issues in the media.

A month or two ago I saw a Newsweek with the cover story "The New Greening of America." A sub-title stated that America was undergoing a new trend in which "Green" was in. Green cars, Green energy, Green everything. Yoga, granola, Hybrid cars and Spotted Owls. It's a shocking concept for a kid surrounded by the salt of the earth in Ol' Wyo. Topping the cover off was a picture of the classic neo-50's neo-con family- handsome man, handsome wife, handsome kids and a dog, all dressed in or colored green.

Upon seeing the cover, my initial reaction was positive: if Newsweek (a traditionally close-minded infotainment mag) had this article, then things were going in the right direction in this country. A Green trend, in my not-so-humble opinion, is a drink of cool water in the desert of conservative, evangelical, paranoid, fear-driven, hate-the-dark-man-at-the-airport 21st century America. Don't get me wrong, there are many, many people out there who have worked hard to dispel that image of the Ugly American, and obviously those who voted Bush into office twice (kinda...) have legitimate claims to believe whatever they want. But the fact remains: Life for liberals in America right now is Goddamned frustrating. Newsweek represents the bulk of America, filled with apathy and hot potato blame-tossing, and if they identify a trend like "Greening", I'll take it.

However, at the same time that I felt optimistic about the greater consciousness of American society, the nagging and cynical voice hanging out inside my head reminded me of human nature. You can't escape it. And as much a relief it may be to hear that thinking about the world we live in has suddenly become fashionable, I realize that that's just what it is. Fashionable. I don't see many Goddamn bell-bottoms anymore. But hopefully in 30 years I'll still see Newsweeks covered in watered-down, uncontroversial covershots of American families planting trees or riding bikes to work.

Whenever I do sit around and wonder about the world and its many problems, I'm left with a question: what the hell is going to happen? I myself am not a good enough judge of humans as a whole to make that call. But no matter how weak my or anyone's imagination may be, with any luck, we will find out. We have to find out.

Ever seen Fight Club? At one point Brad Pitt is explaining to Edward Norton what his dream is. It's not my dream, but I believe it's as good a guess as any.

Before I sign out, I want to emphasize a few things. First, I realize that this is no one person's fault, certainly not just George Bush. I myself drive a shitbox truck and buy shoes I don't need. And I realize how hard these problems are to change. I just wanted to address the elephant in the room.

Secondly, I stole this idea from another Blogger (probably many), but he's not the only one worried. And if you read my first post you may recall that I wished this blog to be laid back and never serious. Fuck that.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Welcome to the Blog o' Soul. I hope the title gives the proper atmosphere for the Blog, because I hope nothing here is taken too seriously. If you're curious, "Soul Handkerchief and the Snotty Five" is an a cappella hip-hip/bluegrass group based in Truth or Consequences, NM. I don't think they'll mind me borrowing the name for a bit.